A new year, a new commitment to share my life with my family and anyone else interested in my ponderings.
January 1, 2012 Melinda, my niece, called and asked if I could take her to the ER. She could not feel her legs. Her back was hurting and I thought it might be a pinched nerve. My sister Darlene was spending Devin's two week Christmas break at Melinda's. They were having a great family time. No arguing just enjoying being together. After a week Darlene had planned to go home. But a snow storm kept her in Indy an extra week. Jim and I picked them all up and dropped Darlene and Devin at my dad's to spend the night. We took Melinda on to St. Francis ER. I didn't know that would be the last time I would see my sister alive.
Friday, January 4, Vonda (my other sister) came from Greencastle to take Darlene home. Devin's school would start up again on Monday. When Darlene got in the car she told Vonda she felt tingley. She thought it was lack of oxygen and asked Vonda to take her to dad's to fill up her oxygen tank before the drive to Greencastle. At the corner of Churchman and Emerson Darlene slumped over. Devin was behind her and tried to put ice from her drink on her neck to wake her up. Vonda called out in a loud voice trying to get Darlene to wake up. She knew it was serious and turned on her flashers and started honking her horn. A police car was near by. When he came and saw the problem he directed Vonda to the Beech Grove fire department minutes away. They put Darlene on a gurney and moved her to an ambulance where they began trying to revive her. Vonda quickly dropped Darlene's dog off at dad's and then went on to the St. Francis ER where Darlene had been taken. She and Devin sat in the waiting room...crying and hoping Darlene would be all right.
Dad called me at 11:45 and told me what happened. I began to pray fervently and drove to the hospital with fear and trepidation. The receptionist took me to a small room where Devin and Vonda sat waiting. It was the death room where people are told by the doctors that they did everything they could but their loved one is gone.
At 12:44 Darlene was pronounced dead. A doctor came in. The reality of losing Darlene hit us all. Devin began sobbing uncontrollably. Vonda was in shock. She couldn't believe it was true. I just sat there praying for Vonda and Devin.
When the doctor said we could go back to see Darlene, I didn't want to go and see her dead body. I chose to go and pick up Melinda. She needed to be here. Pastor Bryan arrived to comfort Vonda and Devin while I was driving to Melinda. Dad had told her over the phone and she was hysterical. She called me on my cell screaming, NO, NO, NO!!!!! She said "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT MY MOTHER?" Her friend Tony was with her and tried to calm her down. I told her I was trying to get there as fast as I could. It was heart rendering to hear and then see Melinda's pain.
We picked up dad on the way back to the hospital. When we arrived back at St. Francis, I went with Melinda and dad into the room where Darlene laid. I personally didn't want to go but it seemed like the right thing to do. It may sound like I had no emotion at the time. I guess I didn't. It was surreal. My goal was to comfort everyone else and continue praying. I have never touched a dead body. And I didn't want to start now. It was very uncomfortable to be in that room for over two hours with dad, Vonda, Melinda and later Jonny and Holly. Everyone else was stroking her hair, holding her hand....except me.
The next few days were filled with funeral arrangements. I had gotten very sick the day before Darlene died. I felt miserable during the whole process. God gave me strength to get through it all. The one thing God knew was more than I could handle was being present in the car when she had the massive heart attack. I was supposed to take Darlene to a doctor's appointment at Methodist Friday morning. When I got sick I called Melinda and told her I couldn't do it. She understood and said she would call Vonda to do it. For the first time in my life I was very thankful that I had gotten sick. My mind remember every detail of an emotional trauma. It is played like a movie over and over in my mind. For that reason God arranged for me not to be present when my mom, my uncle Edgar, and my father-in-law died. The details would have been too sharp in my mind. I am grateful that God knows what I can handle and what I can't .
So enough about death, my next post will be more uplifting. Darlene is in heaven with our mom and brother Rick. She has a perfect body with no pain. She is in Jesus' presence....happy and waiting on us to come to be with her again someday.
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